User:	kobold
	Date:	2008-05-15 15:15
	Subject:	[News/WTF] Man Shoots Self While Scratching Back With Gun
	Security:	Public

... what?

	User:	starline
	Date:	2008-05-15 12:05
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

Broadcasting live comic drawing now! See me at http://ustream.tv/channel/candi-comic-stream
Probably will be doing this for about an hour or so.

Also tonight Apt 209 will be broadcasting at Midnight EST at: http://ustream.tv/channel/apt-209

	User:	shortpacked
	Date:	2008-05-15 11:46
	Subject:	Climax!
	Security:	Public

That's right. All along this "thermometer" was really a penis! You've been tricked!

	User:	idan_cohen
	Date:	2008-05-15 18:03
	Subject:	There are naughty words in this post!
	Security:	Public

"I'm cunt crazy!" moaned Mr. Satan, his eyes filling with tears. "I've gone gash-mad, i've turned to the dark side, I can't stop thinking about breasts and nipples and that little wiggly thing!"

Stone pondered this.

"The clitoris?"

"That!" said Mr. Satan, sobbing. "You don't understand what this is like!"

"It seems like", assayed Stone, after again a moment of contemplation, "That you are turning bisexual."

"Oh no!" said Mr. Satan, his hand flung dramatically skywards, "It is far worse than that. I don't even look at men anymore! I think i'm becoming-"

His eyes opened wide and frightened, his mouth barely whispered the dreaded word;

"-straight!"

"Right." Said Stone, unimpressed. "Sure."

"Serious!" exclaimed Mr. Satan. "I haven't fucked a bloke in weeks!"

Stone stared at him silently.

"Well." said Mr. Satan.

"A week."

Stone admitted to himself, solely in his heart of hearts, showing no outward sign of caring, that this was probably a record. He tendered the notion that Mr. Satan was actually serious, examining it thoroughly from all sides, bringing it in to roost with the chickens.

"Have you," He said, stopped, scratched his head. "Have you actually ever had sex with a woman?"

"Not as such." Said Mr. Satan. Stone raised an eyebrow.

"I've had sex with people dressed as women." Explained Mr. Satan.

"Ah." Said Stone.

"Would you like to?" He asked, after a moment's pause.

"How do you even go about it?" Asked Mr. Satan, his eyes plaintive, puppy dogged, delicate eyebrows raised in despair. "My usual method is worthless here!"

Mr. Satan's usual method was sidling close up to his intended target, then looking him straight in the eyes, saying; "Would you like to have sex?" If questioned, he would elaborate depending on what sort of sex he was looking for. In some cases a crowd would gather, and spontaneous applause break out when he had finished explaining what they'd do with the sea cucumber.

"Women are more complicated." Said Stone sadly. "You need, you know. Flowers."

"Flowers?" asked Mr. Satan

"Flowers." Said Stone firmly.

"In which hole?" asked Mr. Satan.

	User:	theferrett
	Date:	2008-05-15 10:58
	Subject:	While We're On The Topic Of Monogamapolyamoritism And Relationships....
	Security:	Public

....The Joy Of Theoretical Non-Monogamy. A very fine article stolen from moominmuppet, who I don't get to see nearly as often as I'd like.

	User:	snarkoleptics (posted by thaklaar)
	Date:	2008-05-15 09:32
	Subject:	Rice Boy
	Security:	Public

http://www.rice-boy.com/

So, what are peoples thoughts on the ending? Satisfied? Yes, no?

	User:	destroyerzooey
	Date:	2008-05-15 11:18
	Subject:	More old junk
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	sore and sicky

Original page 23
Originally uploaded by radiomaru

	User:	theferrett
	Date:	2008-05-15 09:42
	Subject:	Strange Ramblings On Polyamory Vaguely Inspired By A Distant Post
	Security:	Public

“Polyamory doesn’t work,” said my friend. “I’ve just seen too many of those relationships crash and burn. You just can’t make it work.”

The problem with that is, of course, the goal of polyamory. What is it? It’s pretty clear for the other side, but poly’s a little more mutable.

See, as a non-poly guy in a monogamous relationship, I have the luck of not having every sexual interaction I have be the trial for my entire relationship style. When I had, oh, fifty failed relationships before I finally latched onto my lovely wife, I didn’t have to hear about how each of those fifty crash-and-burns were proof that monogamy’s innately substandard. (And thank God, because with fifty failed relationships, I evidently had enough problems floating around.)

Yet monogamy also has a culturally built-in end-goal. See, I got married. That’s what monogamous couples of all stripes are supposed to do – heck, there’s a war being waged so that gay couples can share in my monogamous uniting process. And marriage is designed to be forever, thanks to that whole “‘til death do us part” clause.

So if I make it to the end with Gini, and one of us dies before we get divorced, then I score a win for monogamy! I am now proof that monogamy works, because we clung to it all the way down. And that’s regardless of whether I actually signed on for that victory condition or not!

Isn’t that grand? Especially since we get to ignore the vast majority of people who don't get there, or the multiple failed relationships that generally precede a victorious marriage?

But poly has no clear end goal. I mean, is poly supposed to be eternal? I’ve seen any number of poly relationships end not with a bang, but with a whimper, as two people slowly lose interest in each other and move on without any hard feelings. It’s not a breakup, just two folks evolving in opposite directions.

Is that what poly’s supposed to do? Well, according to the monogamous goal of capital-F Forever, no. But should we judge polyamory by a one-relationship standard? I’d say not.

And more importantly, is every breakup bad? I’d say not. Certainly there are any number of marriages that fail not because the people involved are evil, but because two healthy people continually grow and change in the course of their lives. Sometimes, what you needed at age twenty is not what you need at age forty… And sometimes, two people diverge.

That doesn’t mean that your relationship failed. It means things changed. Ideally, your partner evolves along with you, but sometimes that’s not healthy. Sometimes, you can have a short relationship that doesn’t work out yet is entirely satisfying for what you needed then.

It’s not cool to say that your divorced ex-partner is still a good guy and you still love him – just not enough to stay. In a monogamous society, you’re supposed to find the blame and assign it straight away so you can figure out who broke the monogamy. Because it’s clearly a fault with you guys, not the system.

Which is not to say that poly doesn’t involve high drama from time to time. ‘Course it does! You’re juggling more people, and more people means more opportunities for things to go wrong. When poly relationships crumble, often they do so in an avalanche of hurt feelings as not just one, but several people are pulled into the maelstrom. Poly’s trickier to pull off in a stable way, and I don’t think anyone really debates that.

But I don’t think that every breakup is a sign of unhealthiness…. Just as I don’t think that every end-goal victory for monogamy is the sign of a strong relationship. Certainly we all know two desperate people who’ve latched onto each other and refuse to leave. There are a ton of radically unhealthy dynamics that can cause two people to unhappily superglue themselves at the hip through life, though one suspects they’ll be kicking their heels off in heaven once they’re finally released from that damned contract.

That’s not really a score for monogamy. If anything, it’s a checkmark against it, in my book.

The problem is that I’m loath to say that any relationship style flat-out doesn’t work. I’m not particularly comfortable with BDSM master/slave relationships in my own personal life, but I do know a few people that it seems to work for. And I’ve seen some long-term poly relationships that would terrify the shit out of neurotic, clingy ol’ me, but appear to be just fine for all involved.

People are individuals. I tend to think any blanket statement on any lifestyle statement is just a way of quietly asking others to tell you that what you want is not just okay, but actively good.

You know what doesn’t work? People. People are fucked beyond comprehension. And any time they manage to interact properly for any amount of time that makes them happy is something I have a hard time dismissing globally, y’know?

	User:	theunshaven
	Date:	2008-05-15 19:40
	Subject:	Game-Themed Electronica for the Win!
	Security:	Public

Victims of Science - The Device Has Been Modified.

I like this song. I found it by accident, particularly since it isn't my normal musical fare. (I'm not sure what my musical fare is, but typically electronica isn't it.)

Initially it made me laugh, and then it made me ROCK OUT. (43 seconds in, I am looking at you.)

In my unashamedly white fashion.

Which probably isn't a good thing, from anyone elses' perspective but mine.

	User:	theunshaven
	Date:	2008-05-15 19:36
	Subject:	This made me laugh.
	Security:	Public

( For anyone who remembers Seinfeld, particularly folks who are also tabletop gamers. )

Never really got Seinfeld myself. Just wasn't my sort of fun.

I do get the impression his stagework was funnier (or at least my sort of funnier) than the show.

	User:	shortpacked
	Date:	2008-05-14 23:00
	Subject:	Dueling Bee-jos.
	Security:	Public

Shortpacked!: Sexual dealing.

So I've had these Shattered Glass dudes sitting around my desk for the past few weeks, and I've yet to have any crossover mirrorverse-versus-counterpart showdowns.

Poor Bumblebee! Goldbug, his evil mirrorverse counterpart, outclasses him in many respects. He's faster, stronger, bigger... I imagine Bumbs would probably get tossed around a bit. It'd be an interesting matchup because there's a clear underdog, and it's not the villain. I'm not sure if Goldbug's rampant paranoia is a point for or against him, though, in this battle. As the monkey says, sometimes crazy works!

Whew! We're almost there! At the time of this writing, we've raised $940 out of the $1000 I need to order the full 2000 books. Just a handful of Shortpacked Book 2 preorders until I reach the goal and... I start making money off these things. Sweetness! Thanks to everyone for your support.

	User:	silveradept
	Date:	2008-05-14 17:59
	Subject:	That's all until Monday, probably - 14 May 2008
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	accomplished
	Music:	Kirby - Checker Knights

Just one more day until I get on a plane and fly out the convention space. Convention doesn't officially open until Friday, of course, but there will be a grand time had by all when it comes to the JAMS reunion Thursday night, before we all scatter to the five winds. After this entry, I'm basically out of contact until Monday, so take care of yourselves and don't let anything too important happen while I'm gone.

Onward to the news.

Showing a common humanity in times of struggle, Tawian has offered search and rescue personnel to China to help with the earthquake recovery.

The United States government has been drugging persons scheduled for deportation, against their will, using drugs that are designed to control serious psychological disorders. Often without any indication that the detainees have any sort of disorder at all, unless you count annoyance at deportation to be such. And against the rules of the government itself. Isn't it nice to know that the government will treat deportees in a humane manner? Just wonder what they must do to their prisoners... or even their citizens. Getting some scope of how far and wide the media propaganda goes, Media Matters counts more than 4,500 instances where the propaganda contributors were referenced, cited, appeared on programs, or were otherwise used as experts.

In further news from the domestic sphere, the government has dropped all charges against the "20th hijacker" of the 11 September 2001 attacks. Said charged were dropped "without prejudice", allowing for them to be filed later.

With regard to Iraq itself, Iraqi troops are being allowed into Sadr city once more, under a new cease-fire. What is potentially more interesting, though, is the somewhat uncensored take of Mr. Bush's order to take the city, which seems more in line with his image of people a regular Joe... or in being The Chimp. Paired with Mr. Bush's great sacrifice in not playing golf while the Iraq War is on, I think we're all confirming what we already knew - despite all of the media's fawning attention on George Bush, he was exactly as he appeared - someone without the faculties for international politics. And now, we have ample evidence of what this war in Iraq has wrought. Pictures, stories, accounts, all of them in living color and captured by various media. All this is our legacy, and the legacy of the current administration. Have a look and see the consequences of war.

Mr. Bush is much less optimistic about the peace process between Israel and the Palestinian authority, with his optimism slowly being eroded away into something else entirely.

Fourteen counts of perjury were filed against Barry Bonds, contending that he lied about his use of performance-enhancing drugs to a grand jury and that he impeded the federal investigation by doing so.

Surprising no-one, Senator Clinton thumped Senator Obama in the West Virginia primary, but did very little to disrupt the momentum of Senator Obama's campaign and likely nomination. CNS News plays up the general election as being a much more hotly contested race by claiming approximately 20 percent of Democrats will defect to the Republican if their candidate does not receive the nomination. That seems odd to me, but maybe it's because I would think the Democrats would want to believe either candidate is better than the Republican. If that's not the case, I wonder what sort of faith the Democrats have in their own nomination process. Is it that they actually take stock in silly things?

Following up on an earlier story, the Arkansas prisoner claiming that he was being starved has been caught trying to give some of his food to other inmates.

The United Kingdom has unsealed a comprehensive archive of UFO sightings, giving plenty for the skeptical and the believers to go through and make their own conclusions about.

In technology, scientists are using Second Life as a virtual lab, designing experiments and teaching science classes to those who stop by. This seems to be the second phase of new toys - after playing with it lots just to play with it, then the play organizes into playing to do things and accomplish stuff. Then, once it's figured out what the game does well and what it does poorly, things tailor further to making it really enjoyable, if you're into that sort of thing. Kind of like naming a new spider species after Neil Young.

Getting into the opinion columns, Mark Helprin says the U.S. needs to step up its military spending to become a deterrent to China, suggesting that soon the U.S. and China will clash on policy issues and that if they decide to launch an attack, the U.S. won't be able to stand up to it.

Thomas Sowell thinks people understand supply and demand just fine, especially when it comes to gas prices going up or land prices skyrocketing, but that people prefer to see themselves as victims and politicians as heroes to rescue them from greedy corporations.

Because I trust CNS News about as far as I can throw it, I'm looking for more information on a University of Toledo employee supposedly dismissed for writing an opinion column on whether homosexuality really is a civil-rights issue. If there are other reasons for dismissal, I'd like to see them appear - after all, they appeared in the "wizardry" dismissal case. And if the university really did dismiss her because of that opinion, then there needs to be an accompanying statement of policy that backs them up on this. Then the campaigns can begin to get the policy changed. To see the editorial for yourselves, in all its Jesus-praising, "they choose this lifestyle, so they can un-choose it", God hates fags way, The Toledo Free Press has it for all to see. And, as a good newspaper does, here are a selection of responses to the opinion column, with several raising the point that regardless of the content of the speech, speech alone is not usually sufficient to invoke dismissal or administrative leave.

In other "family values" types of matters, a candidate for the Idaho State House says that homosexual students should have to use separate bathroom facilities, among other planks of his platform. Um, we already did the "separate but equal" thing, and that didn't turn out to work all that well, so what makes him think that introducing a mandated inequality will work? At least he's not an established legislator with a chance of having his proposals come to law. I'm hoping that he stays unestablished, myself.

The religion section also has Albert Einstein's letter that called belief in the Abrahamic God "childish" and remarked that the Jews were no different than any other people.

Last for tonight, to be cheery right before heading out, Impending Doom, which has several countdowns to the end of the world as we know it. Well, for now, I feel fine, but we'll see. Actually, let's counter that doom with a laugh - the marriage rating scale devised by an APA member in an attempt to scientifically determine whether one's wife or husband was poor or excellent. Consult the entire test yourselves and see how yours stacks up statisically.

	User:	johnforster
	Date:	2008-05-14 14:58
	Subject:
	Security:	Public

I got my blood test back from the 9Health Fair that I did a few weeks back. The 9Health Fair is a deal where the local TV station organizes a wide-spread community service that offers free or severely discounted diagnostic tests and examinations. Mostly old people go to it, but I just wanted to go once just to see if there were any concerns.

I got the results today, and it's reassuring to know that I'm perfectly healthy as far as blood chemistry is concerned. Iron levels are a *little* high, but I think that's due to me taking a vitamin pill to supplement my abysmal college diet. The pills contain Iron and I don't need that at all in my diet seeing how I'm a male of my species.

Oh, also I found out at the physical exams that I have 5 wisdom teeth. This caused the dentist to form a crude crucifix out of two pencils and desperately chanted something in Latin. I think he overreacted.

	User:	jamiecotc
	Date:	2008-05-14 16:57
	Subject:	Eye Problems Part 2
	Security:	Public

I had an open MRI today and it went much better. It was still a bit claustrophobic, but I was able to deal with it much better.  Anyway, now I play the waiting game.  Thanks to everyone who has written.

	User:	wigu
	Date:	2008-05-14 15:49
	Subject:	A Present for Jeph Jacques
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	hott
	Music:	Envelopes

Here Jeph here I went on and designed a shirt for you so you can retire this summer!

( Probably not real safe for work )

Also it can be for Meredith too since Octopus Pie is one year old! It is a comic about an octopus that loves him some pies but pies are allergic to the sea so there are some problems.

	User:	pablowapsi
	Date:	2008-05-14 14:18
	Subject:	It took me long enough...
	Security:	Public

Coming soon folks! ^_^

	User:	shaenon
	Date:	2008-05-14 11:14
	Subject:	New Li'l Mell!
	Security:	Public

Mell knows the score!

http://www.girlamatic.com/comics/mell.php

And of course there's a new installment in The Chronicles of William Bazillion!

Also, I'm going to the MoCCA Art Festival next month. If you're in the NYC area, stop by and say hi. I'm doing a panel on "Comics and the Internet" for the New York Institute for the Humanities on Friday, June 6, and then I'll be at the Friends of Lulu table throughout the weekend.

	User:	destroyerzooey
	Date:	2008-05-14 15:47
	Subject:	thoughts (2004)
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	bemused

thoughts (2004)
Originally uploaded by radiomaru

	User:	destroyerzooey
	Date:	2008-05-14 14:22
	Subject:	I missed this one
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	blank

The Portland Mercury interviewed me last week prior to our signing. Whittled down to three questions. Easily digestible. Go for it.

	User:	theferrett
	Date:	2008-05-14 12:02
	Subject:	Answering A Vital Question
	Security:	Public

"Why," you may ask, "Does the standard outfit for nerds include a goatee and glasses?"

Well, the glasses are because we can't see. But the goatee! Why does every nerd sport a lovely chin-bristler? Why not a full beard, or - gosh - go clean-shaven?

There are two answers, my friend.

The first is that the goatee gives men the illusion of a chin. If you're thin, it gives you a little pointy dangly thing to angle your face. If you're pudgy, the goatee hangs down to cover that unsightly second or third chin. Plus, because all the hot fantasy movie guys sport goatees, like Aragorn, we secretly believe that we are siphoning off some of that movie magic to become just a little more badass, even as we sit on the couch and stuff our face with Cheetos at the local Doctor Who marathon.

The second is that we're lazy. Shaving a full face takes time to go around those inconvenient edges of the lips and chin. Trimming a full beard is awkward and scratchy. But shaving a goatee face involves a couple of quick strokes down the clear slalom of your cheeks, and wham! Done in fifteen seconds. No risk of cutting, no time at all.

And voila! We are unique and beautiful snowflakes. Or not.